The Donkey Chronicles CONTINUEEEEEEEEEE.............

Oh what a colorful history our Donkey Commander-In-Chief has! Over my morning coffee I was trying to recall the wide and varied history , memorable moments, so to speak, he and his relations have provided us with over the many years that I personally am able to recall. I'm sure you all have your own faves too. So I encourage you to send me your recollections and ideas as well!

First, a few facts:

" Donkeys (Equus Asinus) are the smallest members of the equine family which also includes horses, zebras, and mules. Since their domestication over 4000 years ago, they have been an important part of human civilization and culture. Donkeys are also known as burros, jackstocks and asses, but regardless of name, all donkeys are descended from the African Wild Ass, which is now critically endangered. "

Here are a few of my favorites!


* The DONKEY from "Pin the tail on the DONKEY" game "

" There are a few theories as to how this popular children's party game began but no general consensus. Most agree, however, that it has been around for at least one hundred years.


Game History
The annals of game history show that a gentleman named Charles Zimmerling patented a game called "Donkey Party" in the 1880s.
Publishing History
The publisher Selchow & Righter is listed as releasing the game, while Milton Bradley are also noted for publishing "Donkey Party" in the 20th Century.

Natural Origins
One theory based on the natural world is that the originators of the game were inspired by real-life donkeys, some of which are born with either no tail at all or just a tiny nub where a tail should be.
Symbolism
Some are convinced that the game is actually a symbol of predicting the future, as demonstrated by the way in which the game's participant must attempt to hit the right spot despite being blindfolded.

Warding Off Evil
The idea is that by guessing correctly, the child will be protected from evil spirits and such in the year ahead, hence why the game is often played at birthday parties."

Whatever it's origin and purpose, rest assured if this Destination Casino project goes belly up, and/or Bio-Park resides anywhere else, like the Greater New Bedford region, this is the particular DONKEY Flanagan on whose rear we'll be pinning that "LOSER " tail!

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* Another is Eeyor, every one's favorite "grey skies, always"  DONKEY, from Winnie the Pooh! The name "Eeyor" is derived from an English cockney pronunciation of the donkey's well know call "hee-haw". Bet you didn't know that. I do, because I went to law school at UMass/Dartmouth (NOT!)

 He is most interesting, and reflects  beautifully what our own DONKEY Flanagan is like, especially as it relates to the process over, and decision to, sign over our 300 acres to  the Wampanoags,  described aptly by the following A.A. Milne -Eeyor quote:

 

"No Give and Take. No Exchange of Thought. It gets you nowhere, particularly if the other person's tail is only just in sight for the second half of the conversation."
     Eeyore from "The House at Pooh Corner" by A. A. Milne

After promising to be the Sunshine Man and now as our own personal Eeyor, DONKEY Flanagan's time in office necessitates the City obtain the world's largest Prosac dispenser to enable Fall Riverites to exist within a predictably sociopathic, backwards, depressing and selfish a rule as has ever been known in Fall River . Good job Eeyor Flanagan.


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* Holy DONKEY Batman!!!

  That would be the Donkey that delivered Mary and

Joseph to Jerusalem

 and later,

the Donkey on

 whose back

the Lord Jesus

 rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. Could DONKEY Flanagan , he of the unjust and unrighteous ways, be in any way related to these two holy donkey's? Not a chance!!! FORGETTABOUTIT!!!!!

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* Then came "Conchita", the long time companion of Juan Valdez, the Columbian Coffee farmer.

This man and his trusty donkey walked the many Columbian mountains searching out the very best coffee beans that country had to offer, or so the advertisers wanted us to believe. Sort of the way Donkey Flanagan wants us to believe that his Destination Casino agreement is the best deal for Fall River. Maybe I'm being JUSTTTT a bit harsh here (naw, I really DON'T think so), but lil' Conchita broke her buttissimo humping all those sacks of beans around all those mountains while old Juan stopped and drank enough coffee to float the Seventh (7th) Fleet. Now Juan is the one who sounds like our little DONKEY Flanagan. Besides, we all know what Conchita was REALLY carrying over those Columbian mountains after the 1980's, don't we! How else could she keep going and going and going ?....It wasn't done with batteries folks! Old Juan and Conchita - so much in common with the Fall River and DONKEY Flanagan of today!

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* One of my memories was from a television program of stories of the old west called DEATH VALLEY DAYS hosted by non other than our late President Ronald Reagan, who also starred in many of the episodes. But for our purposes here, the sponsor of the long running program was the maker of an all purpose cleaner named 20 Mule Team Borax, named for the mule (donkey) driven wagon trains used to bring minerals mined in Death Valley, California to the more civilized and settled parts of the U.S. Just imagine all those hardworking cousins of DONKEY Flanagan toiling in the heat of the desert making sure you and I had the things we needed so desperately at that time.

On second thought, I must admit it's terribly hard to imagine any cousins of DONKEY Flanagan working that hard for anything having to do with OTHER people's welfare, given what we've seen from him to date, especially after the secretive way he's handled the Casino deal. But we can always hope, right? Right? Huh? I Can't HEEEEARRRRR YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

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* Another famous DONKEY Flanagan cousin is the memorable Francis, the talking mule. (Now we're getting warmer!)  But why take my words for it:

Francis was first talking... before Mister Ed the talking horse.

" Francis the mule, was and is still a favorite comedy. The films were based on a popular book about a military man who meets a mule who can talk. Arthur Lubin, the producer, of the movies later went on to create the Mister Ed TV series. Francis was trained by Will Rogers and apprentice Les Hilton, Mister Ed's trainer. The same technical practice of teaching Francis when to move his mouth was later used on Mister Ed. Mules are very smart and will do what they are asked as long as you are kind and gentle with them.


Francis was the very first recipient of the American Humane Association Annual Patsy Award (1st place) in 1950. The award was given to the animals shown in motion pictures for an outstanding performance. "


"Francis" was the smart one, and Donald O'Connor, his human partner in the many movies he made, was always the sad sack dummy.  (Oh my...we're suddenly freezing!) The veteran actor Chill Wills gave voice to Francis. The only thing DONKEY Flanagan and Francis have in common...well, actually, they have nothing in common except role reversal, because the whole City knows Steve Torres thinks it, and DONKEY Flanagan says it. We all know who the real dummy is between those two. And, apparently, so did the Wampanoags!

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* Of course, one of the more frightening examples of donkeys I recall from my youth was that of the Donkey Boys on Pleasure Island from the famous child's story and Disney movie PINOCCHIO. Now we are getting very, very close to our very own DONKEY Flanagan!

" Pleasure Island was a cursed amusement park seen in Pinocchio. The park was owned and operated by The Coachman, who made a fortune from his crooked deeds, and is seen in the film when the Coachman brings Pinocchio, Lampwick and a coachload of other boys to the park. It is implied to be an illegal theme park, hinted by Honest John during the meeting in the Inn, where he reacts in horror at the name.
On its surface, Pleasure Island seemed like any other amusement park, except that it was one where the young boys brought there by the Coachman were encouraged to behave badly. Among the places where the boys could misbehave were the Roughhouse, where they were encouraged to fight, the Model Home, which was open for vandalism and destruction, and food, alcohol and tobacco were made freely available.

The park was designed so that little boys would "make jackasses of themselves," and quite literally so. After enough time spent misbehaving in the park, the boys would gradually transform into donkeys; still with their human minds, but donkeys in every other way. Braying replacing normal laughter came first; ears and tail came next; then the face was transformed, followed by the extremities and torso; finally, the voice was replaced by full braying. These donkeys were then stripped of their clothing by the Coachman and placed into crates where they would eventually be sold into slavery in the salt mines, the circus and other places.

Apparently, being less of a 'jackass' could slow the process of transformation, and presumably the island's curse did not affect those who are sensible and well-behaved, since it does not affect Jiminy at all, which was why only stupid, badly-behaved boys were brought to the island. The Coachman tested each donkey, asking each one what his name was. Donkeys who could still talk were placed in a separate pen, and presumably kept there until they either lost their ability to talk, or were kept by the Coachman to pull his stagecoach.


Pinocchio narrowly avoided being transformed into a donkey, and escaped with just a donkey tail and ears. However, Lampwick and all the other boys were not so lucky, and were transformed into donkeys in one of the most notably terrifying sequences in Disney history. "

Yes, it has been terrifying to watch our DONKEY Flanagan and his fellow "bad boys" Steve Torres and Ken Fiola take things over by themselves, at the behest of FROED, the Redevelopment Authority and the Chamber of Commerce, and try to turn a certain 300 acre parcel into Fall River's own "Pleasure Island" I just can't wait for all of them to sport big ears and tails....it'll be easier to see them coming so you can hide the valuables!

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Finally,here's  my favorite donkey in the world. He's Italian, not Portuguese and Irish, but no other donkey is as famous as Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey! I could not help but think of our very own DONKEY Flanagan when I remembered the line about "wearing the Mayor's derby"...it touched my heart...hahahahaha! So, for your dining and dancing pleasure I give you Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey!

 (Especially watch the gentleman singing, Nick the Pizza GUY, the one with the "Moustache Pete" moustache...he reminds me of Steve Torres for some reason...you'll figure out who DONKEY Flanagan is right away! And don't forget to notice the members of the FROED Board of Directors dancing in the background...classic stuff)

ENJOY !!!

Yes, one thing I know is that it's Christmas in reverse as long as DONKEY Flanagan is Mayor in Fall River. That Destination Casino looks so good on the surface, but if it ever gets built the net result will be the loss of Christmas for every child in Fall River for generations to come. For what? To win some election in the future? Because your own selfish needs are greater than the needs of an entire community? What a phony!

 HEE-HAW, YOU JACKASS!