Special ASS MUNCH Lifetime Achievement Award Goes To........

Well, this will be short and sweet because I'm in a rather P.O.'d mood and the useless ass munch I'll be talking about has his head so far up his own arse that he sees what color his own urine is before he tries to drink it again. That's right kids, in Fall River, and certain parts of Somerset, you know, on the grounds of radio station WSAR, aka, Keri Rodrigue's children's future college fund, this cretinous fool I'm describing has made it his life's work to be an annoying hemorrhoid to young and old alike, yet somehow, for a functional illiterate, feels himself to be a major media celebrity. I hate to break this to both he and his listeners, but if you're only well known in Fall River, and that is only because people delight in making fun of your stupidity, you "ain't nuthin' " to borrow a term from the facile mind of our guest of honor!

No, this idiot also goes by a "nom de plume" on the comment sections of the Fall River Herald News (HN) of "LukeUrban", and this weekend continued his private war with the Fall River Police Department (FRPD) by siding with the dark side, a collection of maggots making life miserable for the residents of the 5th Street area. 5th Street, as you know, is a primary center of armed robbery, murder, assault, pimping , prostitution, and drug sales in Fall River. But "LukeUrban" was denigrating efforts by police to disband a large group of youths from the area who were blocking the flow of traffic and basically threatening the honest citizens of the neighborhood IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. Claiming they were only "dancing", because the lead mindless thug jumped on top of a car to act the fool in front of police, "LukeUrban" repeatedly tried to anger other commenter's on purpose with inflamatory statements about how benign the gang of hoodlums were and how cowardly a particular FRPD Sargent- which, of course, was not the case at all - was in trying to deal with a volatile, outnumbered by gutless wonders situation.

Apparently the great Mike Herren, who the entire City, it seems, knows is "LukeUrban" (or so everyone says - hey moron, this throw away line makes me untouchable...lol), is on a personal vendetta to blacken the reputation of the outnumbered FRPD because of his arrest and arraignment on the grounds he tried to hit a man, who he had just punched in the throat, with his vehicle, presumably to escape arrest for the throat punching incident. Consciousness of guilt - it's a beautiful thing!

So, of course when I get up this morning and read a short blurb in the Boston Globe about two people in Fall River being shot at 4 AM on East Main Street, my mind was made up. Mike, it's time to go to rehab. You've had your little fling with Correia's grand daughter (what, she's like, 20 years your junior - what a guy, pimping his grand daughter for good radio coverage by an imbecilic moron like you!) but now, you're about out of time, your 15 minutes have lasted about 14 minutes too long. Your neighbors all hate you. That's a F-A-C-T! Why? They are tired of your endless 'PAHHHHHTIES" until 5 AM every day. Let's see, the police want you badly, your neighbors want you to move to New Jersey and the bars you scrounge free drinks from because of your ability to draw crowds (LMFAO) are tired of your free-loading. The only thing most people can't fathom is why the Karam's, who are supposed to have a clue, keep your stinky behind around. Must be jealousy, right Mike, er, I mean, "Luke"? Personally, when Keri wins her case, your days are done! And think how complicated your Motor Vehicle Assault case will become then, once you've been successfully found guilty of assault in a Civil Suit!!!...OH-OHHHHHHH..lol...Sometimes Mike, sweating isn't always from drinking too much the night before!

So, without further ado, I hereby give a special ASS MUNCH Lifetime Achievement Award to Mike Herren/LukeUrban!. I knew you'd be a shoe in since the day your older teammates on the BC basketball team threw you through a bar's plate glass window because you were pissy drunk and refused to shut the hell up about missing Chow Mein Sandwiches. But, c'est la vie, right Luke?

Hey Mike....next time you go ghetto dancin'.....just show the world just how much of an Ass Munch you are...after all...you've certainly earned the right!