TODAY, WE START A TRADITION......

"And the award goes to....."

I find myself in need of a "vent" today, and I think I have found the perfect target. Once I saw the front page of the Fall River Herald News, I knew who I was going to vent my spleen on, spew invective at, rub their puppy-like nose in heaps and piles of , and generally, who would catch my keyboard expectoration's! You guessed it, the owner of "OLIVERS", a classy little juke joint up near the old airport grounds which are now part of the industrial park. Mr. Paul Viveiros, COME ON DOWN, you are the first winner of the weekly chowmeinsammach's "The Stupid, It Burns" Award. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Mr. Viveiros likes being in the mix, so to speak. Not satisfied with taking the City for a cool $1 million, or there abouts, in needless City legal expenses several years ago, and after getting back every dime he spent for HIS legal fees over the right to turn his once thriving bar and restaurant into a nekkid hoochie mama factory ( aka, STRIP CLUB), he now bemoans the fact that the cost to file an advertisement required by law with the Planning Board was raised, over the years like all the other fees City residents pay, to $250! A similar increase in fees for posting he is required to pay to the City Clerk also has risen over the years. So now, in order to start the process to make Fall River the home of Friday morning "Eggs and Leggs" specials, Mr. Viveiros, now to be known by his new chowmeinsammich moniker "PMF" (Pimp Master Flash), can't pay out $500 to make it happen, at least not by this route. No, PMF declares his intention to attack this City via any number of other ways to ensure his , and your (he's so thoughtful, isn't he) Constitutional rights to watch nekkid women dance on stage for every dollar bill in circulation in this part of Bristol County. As the guy who used to own a newspaper stand in downtown Boston used to say to me each morning "Amerrikaa, ees BEEuutifull Coohntree!!!".

No, he "ain't gaht" the $500 small to pay for this attempt to stay in the news a bit longer (And maybe, drum up some new business for his dump, but shhhhhhh, your not supposed to be able to figure that out...it's a secret between us, ok?), so he went for his coup de gras, the open, lettered toilet seats and nekkid, blindfolded, sword holding mannequin to let everyone leaving from or coming to the City wonder just what sort of flaming morons live in a community like Fall River! I guess flaming morons like PMF!

Sure, this is really going to help your case with individuals in this City that want the issue to be decided once and for all. Even those who might be sympathetic to your cause and agree with you that the Karams have to take one for the team and devote a small portion of that untapped goldmine of good jobs at good wages and tax revenues to an Adult Entertainment District just don't like to be associated with a toilet bowl like you! ( Sorry, I didn't mean to insult those innocent toilet bowls up there.) So, for having the foresight to whip otherwise unconcerned and apathetic people in the City into an anti-strip joint mob of fanatics overnight, and sentencing everyone else to more useless crusades by well meaning, but over emotional, "under-educated" in the subject matter, zealots who might prevent the very establishment of the Adult Entertainment Zone you seek for several more years, YOU, PMF, are the first winner of the weekly chowmeinsammich "The Stupid, It Burns" Award!!!! Once again, great work, and here's hoping people on both sides of the argument don't catch you before it's time to sneak out of town in the wee, small hours of the morning , before daylight, of course. But, you being the you you are, will probably be found stuck up side down and head first in one of the toilet bowls on your front lawn because you tried to get in the news one last time! Here's to your good luck in pulling it off!

(Editors Note: The issue of where to create an Adult Entertainment Zone in Fall River should be placed on a ballot and decided by the citizens of Fall River. It is a shame that none of the elected officials in the City but one wants to keep these places well away from residential areas or schools for fear of upsetting the Karam Gang. Too bad for the Karams. Let the City take the land in the Industrial Park by Emminent Domain, if that's possible, pay the Karam Gang its extortion money, and be done with it! Fall River needs to act NOW to protect it's families, retail outlets and neighborhood property values from unplanned placement of adult entertainment businesses. For a City that makes such wonderful bread, it never ceases to amaze me that few here know how to slice it without cutting themselves.)