bzzzzzzzzzzzzzOWEEEE(smack)...Death by 1,000 Bee Stings Has Begun !

Fall River Zoning Board tables strip club plan.
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Club Martinique, a strip club being proposed by Gary Lund, would be located at Front and Wordell streets. The Zoning Board of Appeals tabled the club’s permit hearing Thursday night, saying Lund did not submit all the necessary information.

Herald Hews Staff Reporter
Posted Dec 10, 2009 @ 10:59 PM
Last update Dec 10, 2009 @ 11:01 PM
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FALL RIVER — A special permit hearing on a proposal by Gary Lund for a strip club at Front and Wordell streets was tabled by the Zoning Board of Appeals Thursday night after somewhat heated discussion over the reason for the continuance.

When Chairman David Assad advised Lund’s attorney, Brian Cunha, of a need to table the matter because of a lack of certain “procedural requirements” in Lund’s application, Cunha said he was under the impression all those issues had already been resolved.
He was displeased that he was being told of the “ procedural irregularities at the 11th hour and 59th minute.”
When he alleged the matter was part of the “roadblocks the city was putting up” against Lund’s intent to operate an adult entertainment business, Assad disagreed, responding, “That whole issue is settled.”

Settled? You betcha, as  Simple Silly Sarah would say. The Fall River Board of Appeals, aka the Fall River Beekeepers, were hard at work last night applying the first of what will make up the 1,000 bee stings to accomplish what I call Mayor Flanagan's anit-strip joint policy of "Death By 1,000 Bee Stings". (Death By 1,000 Bee Stings is the use of local regulations and ordinances to completely break the will, bankroll and business viability of an adult entertainment venture).

 As you can see from the quote, above, THIS was them being NICE! LOL. I love this stuff. Letting no one leave the room without understanding just how things will proceed in our City towards Messers Lund, Cunha and their laughingly rediculous hoochie-coochie mini-palace, "Martinique", the first real skirmish lines were being laid out. (Man, what hilariously unintended irony of that name in this City for a booze soaked testosterone factory like that!) I particularly like the way you can see one of the many multi-family housing units  in the residential neighborhood nearby close up in the background the artist's rendition of the club shows. Nice touch Gary Lund....proving the argument against you with your own artwork! YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

 I can just see it now...some 19 year old Durfee dropout who couldn't pass the MCAS test dressed in a barely there bikini, leaning provocatively against a fake palm tree, just like the rest of the tacky decorations inside,  asking a newly entered male patron, "hey guy, you look like ya jauunna have sum fun, wantsta buy me a botlle of champane, it's only aatee buckssss?", while she tries to stick her middle finger through the smoke rings she's blowing while smoking a Newport. Tres sexy...just like they say in the real Martinique.

I wish I had been there. The first bee sting happened before the meeting even began by placing the item last on an agenda containing 15 other items, Take it from yours truly, my friends, you do not want to bring your popcorn to one of these meeting, more likely a sleeping bag would be a much wiser choice. They are usually deadly boring, with recitations of various bylaws, ordinaces, state regulations, and arguing for hours on the meaning and legislative intent of a word here or a phrase there. LOL. Can you imagine the GREAT CUNHA having to sit through three hours of THAT! I'm sure he really didn't mind TOO much because he was banking an egregiously high hourly rate from Gary "only dope feinds and shady people wear shades all the time" Lund. But, after the first explosion of the inferred "Don't you know who I am" outburst from Atty. Cunha, each retort by a member of the Fall River Beekepers Board of Appeals was just another of what will be energy and money sapping bee stings by the City of Fall River into Gary Lund's backside.

I like it. I still think, in the long run, the City should adopt an Adult Entertainment Zone, and make sure it's away from residential and school zones. What the heck, we took land for a school by eminent domain, why not do the same thing for a parcel somewhere near one of the highways and discourage the patrons of a place like this from entering other areas of the City, so there is less chance of more prostitution , drug sales and use and violent crime associated with this type of "entertainment".

I say arm this City with a veritable phalanx of Beekeepers. It's fun to be the one finally doing the stinging while staying unstung yourself. Unleash the bees! Taken together, the intial strategy of Death by 1,000 Bee Stings, when combined with the establishment of an Adult Entertainment Zone near a highway well away from the Central Business District and residential areas, to insulate Fall River in case the courts eventually decide to send stingers OUR way, is the best short run - long run solution to Smutricide of the type associated with "Club Martinique".


Oh, one other thought; We both know one of the reasons Gary Lund doesn't care how much it cost's him to get the approval to build "His" club....it's not really "His" money!